literature

Tales from Vistus - Respite

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“Alright, we’re gonna land. No arguments.”

“But—”

No arguments, Jinny.”

With Laerya being her typical stubborn self, and me being in no condition to do anything other than bend to her will, I let Shady land. We had been flying for several hours and night had fallen long ago; normally I would agree with Lae and stop to rest, but Shady himself had wanted to cover a lot of ground today. Ever since Vacerus’ reawakening he had been restless, unable to stay in one place for too long. It seemed the experience had shaken him, and my attempts to comfort him had little success. It wasn’t just him either. I noticed Laerya’s usual cheerful expression would turn sombre when she thought I wasn’t looking, and Akorri could go several hours without uttering a single word. As for me...

It had been a month since Shady and I left Greenglade to travel with Laerya and Akorri. I should have been happy; I was leaving the village I hated. I was finally free.

So why did I still feel trapped?

I would close my eyes and see Vacerus’ draconic corpse towering over me, and when I slept I was often jolted awake by his tail breaking my body. Vacerus, the dragon who created the three regions of Vistus, was someone to be revered, yet now I could not hear that name without trembling in fear. How utterly shameful...

The weather was pleasant tonight, though I was in no position to enjoy it. I could barely move my head to look past Shady’s wing and down at the fields below, attacked by a rush of light headedness as I tried. It was apparently warm, but I was shivering, plagued by a chill only I could feel. Curse this fever! Where had it even come from? I’d been fine just yesterday.

I didn’t want Shady to stop flying for my sake, but at Laerya’s instruction he began his descent without any complaints. I sat uncomfortably in the saddle, all too aware that the only reason we were stopping was because of me. Were Laerya and Akorri alright with it? They didn’t seem bothered, but I couldn’t help feeling guilty.

Once Shady’s paws touched the grass, Laerya hopped off the saddle and stretched. “Whew! What a long day. My legs are cramped up from all that sitting.”

I stayed where I was, looking out at the stretch of grassland around us. With only a small lake close by and no cover in sight, I felt incredibly exposed. There was nothing to hide us from passing monsters or people. I wanted to say something, but thought better of it. We had already landed and I didn’t want Shady taking off again just because I was uncomfortable.

“You feeling any better?” Akorri asked. He sat opposite me in the saddle though his head was turned to watch Lae stretch.

“I think so,” I said, trying to ignore the feeling of floating.

Akorri glanced at me so I quickly looked away, aware that he had seen right through me. There was no use lying to him. He wasn’t a Greenglader; he couldn’t be fooled so easily. Sometimes I was all too conscious of his observant nature and I couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. I felt like I was on display all the time, even when I would do my best to put up the stoic mask that I’d relied on back in Greenglade.

“I’m gonna hit the hay,” Laerya said as she hopped back onto the saddle to take a sleeping bag. “Jinny, at the risk of sounding like a mum, I’m gonna advise that you go to sleep now too. It’ll cure that fever faster.”

“Sure thing, mum,” Akorri murmured.

“I wasn’t talking to you, bedhead.” Laerya stuck her tongue out at him and jumped back onto the ground, laying out the sleeping bag. She untied her purple hair, letting it fall past her shoulders, and slipped into the bag. “Well, g’night, guys. See ya in the morning!”

It was only a few minutes before her breathing slowed and she fell asleep.

“I wish I could drift off as fast as her,” said Akorri.

I nodded. Now would be the perfect time to have a conversation, and a normal person might even start one. But I could think of nothing else to say, so I sat still looking at the grass, my mind hazy.

A few minutes passed in silence. Akorri did not move, so I didn’t, either. Shady rested his head on the ground and closed his eyes, curling his tail around himself and the sleeping Laerya. I watched her for a while, noticing how her buckteeth showed when she kept her mouth open like this, and then realised I was being creepy. Who watches a person sleep? I turned away and my head spun from that movement.

“Maybe we should sleep now, huh,” Akorri said.

“I suppose,” I replied. I made no move to get up, if only because I knew the world would spin again if I tried.

“Hmm... Not feeling it either?”

I blinked. “What do you mean?”

Akorri looked at me. “Sleeping. You don’t feel like sleeping, right?”

I didn’t want to tell Akorri the reason I refused to move was because I didn’t want him to see me stumble. “Um... Yes.”

Akorri sighed. “I know I made it sound like I was joking, but... I really do admire Lae’s ability to just conk out like that.”

I wondered why he was bringing this up again, though I shared the sentiment.

“I’ve not been a very heavy sleeper for some time, and well, recent events haven’t made things any easier.”

Now I understood what he was getting at. In theory I should be able to fall asleep quickly because my fever was draining so much of my energy, but I still did not want to sleep because I knew what would happen if I tried. And a fever would make it so much worse.

Akorri looked down at Shady. “Do you think he has problems like that, too?”

I leaned over to stroke the dragon’s furled wing. “Shady’s always been a light sleeper, I think. Though what happened might have... exacerbated that.”

“It must’ve been terrible for him. That day, I mean.” Akorri ran a hand through his unkempt red hair. “To see someone of his kind... do that stuff.”

Of course it was terrible. Dragons never attacked Vistians with such malice. They were the guardians of this world, or so I was told. And to think it was Vacerus of all dragons, the pseudo dragon God himself, who had frozen our hearts with such fear! But in the end it was not him doing those things, as he had died hundreds of years ago. “It wasn’t Vacerus’s fault,” I said, “and Shady knows that.”

“Maybe so, but it doesn’t make the image in my head any less... well, terrifying.”

I closed my eyes, struggling to catch up with this conversation. I didn’t want to sleep, but I didn’t have the energy to talk either. My mind was telling me to shut itself off, but I couldn’t do that, not now that Akorri was actually talking. We hardly ever had conversations between just the two of us since Laerya was always there to join in, so I wanted to make the most of it. How odd. I pretty much never wanted to talk to anyone one on one, but it was surprisingly easy to talk to Akorri.

“So you think it was terrifying as well?” I murmured.

“Of course.” Akorri shuddered. “I’d be lying if I said Vacerus wasn’t constantly in the back of my mind.”

I kept my eyes closed. I knew I was being rude by not making eye contact with him as he spoke, but he didn’t seem the type to mind it. It was a relief knowing for sure I wasn’t the only one haunted by Vacerus. “Mine too.”

I could feel Akorri’s eyes on me. “I’m sorry I got you involved.”

I frowned slightly as I tried to figure out at what point Akorri had gotten me involved in the incident. It was hard to think through the haze of feverish fog enveloping my brain.”Mmm... I would have been involved even if you weren’t there. Lorelei wanted it out for the whole village, right?”

“But she wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t tell her where... Vacerus was...” Akorri’s already quiet voice trailed off into silence. I opened my eyes to see him staring at his hands with his ears lowered dejectedly.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to think. Akorri still felt guilty about the whole thing. I wasn’t surprised to hear that. I knew what a burden it was to carry those feelings for so long, and I also knew they were irrational. Akorri probably knew it too, but he still couldn’t shake it. Whatever I said next would do little to ease him, but I had to help him. “She would have found out anyway, I think. If not from you, then from somebody else.”

“She did also have Yuli helping her.” Akorri’s voice grew steadier again. I felt relieved. “I just, I feel like it all could’ve been avoided, you know? If I’d have known.”

“I think we’ll always feel that way about certain events,” I said. “But I know.”

“Hindsight’s 20/20 and all that, right?” He smiled bitterly. “But hey, don’t listen to me. I shouldn’t be keeping you up, especially not if it’s to talk about depressing stuff like this. Lae’s right, you need to sleep, even if you feel you can’t.”

The fact that I had to take a second to wrap my head around this sudden change in topic proved Akorri’s point, but I didn’t want him to feel like he was burdening me. “It’s okay. I... want to talk.”

“You do?”

Was that so surprising? “Yes.”

“Huh. You’re not exactly the chatty type.”

I was too tired to feel anything about that comment. On any other day it would have bugged me. “Neither are you,” I replied before I realised what I was saying.

Akorri smirked, and I felt my body warm up a little, though that might’ve just been from the fever. “You got me there,” he said.

I did understand what he meant. At night, especially when I got tired, my inhibitions lowered. I cared less about what I said, and that made it a bit easier to talk. Akorri was probably the same. Such earnest conversations were currently not possible for us in the daytime.

“So if you want to talk, let’s talk. What do you wanna talk about?” Akorri asked.

I blinked. “Um... I don’t know... You said talk a lot.”

“Sorry, didn’t realise my vocabulary was being tested.” Akorri smirked again, and I smiled in turn. “What shall be our topic of conversation?” He adopted a posh accent. “I would very much like to chat with you about something; to take part in a verbal exchange, if you will. Yes, I would not mind if we nattered on about a specific subj—”

“Okay, I get it.” I rolled my eyes, my smile widening. “You can stop now.”

Akorri sighed in relief and dropped the accent. “Good. I dunno how many more of those I could’ve come up with.”

I couldn’t help snickering, though it quickly gave way to a cough. “Then maybe I should have left you to it.”

“Hey.” His grin softened and I found myself looking at him properly for the first time that night. It was nice to see him genuinely smiling. “You can’t be that cruel.”

“Why not?”

“Because Lae’s already mean. We need someone nice to balance it out.”

“And you aren’t nice?”

“I’m...” Akorri paused, his smile gone. I regretted those words immediately. “Do you... think I’m nice?”

“Yes.” I knew why he might think otherwise, after everything that had happened. The way he treated Laerya before he met me was no secret, and while I did not approve of it, I did understand. I had to make him see that. “You just had a rough patch. Everyone has them.”

“That’s no excuse though, is it?”

The mood was getting worse by the second. How could I fix it? I had to make Akorri happy again. I was still not used to him acting like this. “It happens. When you’re in that state, you stop caring...”

“I should’ve tried harder to push through it.”

I closed my eyes once more, my head starting to spin again as my heart sank. Of course Akorri would still be carrying his guilt around. I couldn’t make it disappear just by being understanding and spouting a few encouraging words. “You managed to in the end, though,” I murmured.

Akorri sighed. “I suppose.”

If only there was something I could say to cheer him up. Laerya probably would’ve known what to say. Perhaps he should have talked to her about this; he knew her longer. But I couldn’t help thinking that I wanted to be the one to make him feel better.

“I wish I could take back everything I said,” Akorri continued, looking down at his purple gloves. “I wish you and Lae didn’t have to see me like that.”

I didn’t know whether it was the fever or my drowsiness, but all I wanted to do in that moment was hug Akorri as tightly as I could. I thought physical comfort wasn’t for me to give; no one would feel better from my touch; but I just had to do something. “You’re being too hard on yourself,” I murmured.

“No, I’m not,” Akorri replied. I noticed his voice was carefully neutral. It was a voice I often used when under stress.  “You know, I... I’ve been too happy lately. Like, I’ve done so much shit, I don’t deserve to have fun with you guys. Sometimes I find myself thinking that I should... leave.”

I lunged at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his thin body. I ignored his gasp, focusing on his warmth. “No.” Ah, he felt soft... “Don’t even consider it.” My voice shook and my head banged, but I didn’t care.

“J-Jinny?” Akorri squeaked. Thankfully he didn’t pull away.  

“You’re allowed to feel happy,” I said. “It’s okay. I want you with us, and I know Laerya and Shady do too.” I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder, his soft fur cushioning my chin. “So please... please don’t say such things.”

He groaned, his shoulders sagging. I let go of him, barely able to look at his face after that sudden display of emotion. “Ah...” He closed his eyes, rubbing his temple. He stayed like that for a while, letting out the occasional sigh.

I was still uncomfortable seeing him upset. The Akorri I knew was a reserved but bright person who enjoyed joking around, yet he had so much going on beneath the surface that I was barely aware of.  Did Laerya know about this? We hadn’t known each other for long, but I couldn’t imagine travelling without him. He couldn’t be serious about leaving...

“Um, a-are you okay?” I asked after a minute of silence.

“Hmm.” Akorri was staring at his hands, but gave a little smile. “I think I will be, yeah.” He bit his lip. “Um, thanks. For that. I guess I needed it.” He was looking everywhere but at me.

“I’m glad.” My body swayed a little, and I was all too conscious of my face burning from my fever.

“Don’t worry.” He finally glanced at me. “I won’t leave you guys. I guess I’m still just going through some shit, so I need to get used to...” he gestured with his hands, “... accepting everything.”

“Were you serious about it?” I mumbled.

“About what?”

“About leaving.” It was not often I spoke with such conviction, but I was desperate.

“I don’t know.” Akorri still refused to look at me. “You caught me in a moment of weakness. I don’t think I was serious.”

I didn’t like his uncertainty, but at least I had stopped him for now, and I would stop him again if I needed to. Every time he had doubts in his mind I would be there to help him through them. “Good,” I mumbled.

Akorri breathed a heavy sigh, and then rubbed his head. “Hah, this is backwards. I’m being comforted by the person who actually needs it most right now.”

“M-me?” I blinked.

“Well yeah, you’re the sick one here.”

“Ah.”  My ears twitched. “I don’t think I need comforting if I’m just going through a fever.”

“Care, comfort, same thing.”

“It’s... not really.”

“Hey, just agree with me, okay?” His smile came back again. “Now come on, we really should be getting to sleep. I’ve kept you up way too long.”

“I don’t mind. I think it helped, actually.” My eyelids did feel heavy, though. Maybe it really was time to go to bed. I wasn’t particularly concerned about having a nightmare now. Despite my spinning head, I felt calm, like if I rested my head on a pillow I would drift off to sleep without worry.

“Yeah?” Akorri took out his sleeping bag and slowly climbed out of Shady’s saddle. I joined him with my own, closing my eyes briefly to stop the world from swaying. “Well... It helped me, too. Thanks, Jinny.”

I crawled into my makeshift bed, unable to keep from smiling. I wasn’t sure if the warmth in my chest was from my fever or not.  In that moment I realised how lucky I was: I was travelling the world with my best friends, away from the constricting expectations of my home. For the first time in my life, I was free. Though I still suffered from the visions of Vacerus and the sneers of my former classmates were a constant motif in my mind, I finally had hope that, with time and the help of Akorri and Laerya, they would ease. And I would help my friends, too. “I’m glad,” I whispered, my breathing slowing. “Then goodnight, Akorri.”

“Night, Jinny.” Akorri’s voice sounded comfortingly close. “Sleep well.”
A short oneshot exploring the aftereffects of the events that took place in Vistus, from Jinny's point of view.

I wanted to do something small directly following the incident and how the group dealt with it early on in their travels together, before they properly settled into their adventuring lifestyles.
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AndreTXH's avatar
Holy shiet, some writing, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.

These fucking slice-of-life moments, I swear.